Holiday Beads

I thought maybe I might show you a few of the beads I've made this season. These had been set aside over the past four months to make some jewelry. Sorry about the blurry photo - I think I forgot all the rules about depth of field. Holiday beads are fun to make and I can't wait to start on the Valentine themed ones. Maybe soon.

ToP TeN FuN things to do in an Emergency room

1. Poke fun at the “clone/s”. They’re the wannabe’s. You know…I wannabe a doctor so please tell me your story so I can go and try and repeat what you said to the wannabe resident doctor who wants to be the attending doctor who wants to be the genuine article and the last person in the hospital food chain. They’re all genuine and work hard but I still enjoy the deer in the headlights look when you explain what is going on with your body.
2. See which size of the Kimberly-Clark Sterling Nitrile Powder-Free Exam Gloves (isn’t that a mouthful) fits. My size: Medium
3. Take a nap – Oh yeah, sure – About the time you’ve given up on expecting that they’ll come to your curtained cell and you close your eyes someone comes in to ask you an important question. It's difficult to answer with spittle in the corner of your mouth.
4. Stay quiet and listen to the “life trauma” going on around you.
5. Count the empty specimen jars in the bin on the wall. Ponder the number your bladder could fill, if full : - ).
6. Pick the dog hair, deposited by the three stooges at home, off your fleece shirt. Why the hell didn’t I notice I looked like a hairball this morning?
7. Start a hash list ( llll ) and keep track of the number of times Housekeeping is called to go and clean something up! I keep wondering what it is.
8. Sing to yourself. Be brave, and sing out loud because you might get some really good medication. My favorite tonight has been “Doctor, doctor give me the news – I got a bad case of lovin’ you”.
9. Read a magazine or book – You were smart enough to pack one, right?

Interesting (or NOT) thought about nurses. Traditionally nurses were always female, as were stewardesses. But when they hired males why did they get a new title? First the boys were called “steward” and then they all became flight attendants. Why the new designation? I mean why did someone think it so generic a noun (nurse) that when males joined the ranks it wasn’t worth changing! I’m thinking it was some committee of doctors who figured they deserved all the titles (Internist, Surgeon, and Dermatologist). Why wouldn’t everyone in their universe be referred to by some non-descriptive gelding driven adjective or noun?

They put a Greenfield Filter in my hubby’s leg. You Michigander’s are going to recognize this pun….Does this mean we get a free pass to the Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village? Or is he going to go off like a bomb or bell – Bata boom, Bata, bing – when we visit? Do we get a prize? We were at Henry Ford Hospital after all.

10. You can collect a list of famous hospital lines:

• This might hurt a little, feel cold, hot, pinch, sting.
• Just a little poke.
• Alright _____, I’ll be back to see how you’re doing…

”Hi my name is_____________, and I’m here to_____________.”

Really people, you’re nice and all and just doing your job but why don’t you just say, “HI, I’m your Phlebotomist” It’s not like I need to know the first name of everyone in the hospital Besides, I always think - What’s good for the goose is good for gander. So why isn’t the doctor coming in and introducing himself by his/her first name? Why stand on all of that formality after you ordered all the poking and prodding. And, IF you “gotta’ be all that” just give me your employee number, do your job, and move on. But then again, maybe if everyone used first names and came over for dinner once in awhile you’d think twice about how you actually treated them when they were in your “care”. What a concept, huh?

Actually my very favorite line as of last night is this: “Where does it hurt?” I heard countless people (attending physicians, senior physicians, nurses, aids, house physicians, (ad infinitum), ask the same people in other curtained cells this question over and over and over.

Answer: I have a chart the size of Texas and you’re the fifteenth person to ask me the same damn questions. Isn’t that chart important? You have to send the stinking thing with me to every department I go to. Nurses live in fear they’ll forget it. So, why don’t you pick it up and read for yourself where I hurt. Then, you and I can have a MEANINGFUL conversation. Pick it up and read it – I’ll still be here when you’re done.

Ah, four hours later…………………and Doogie Howser from Neurology comes in. WTF! I mean it too! This squirt of a kid is going to someday operate on someone’s nervous system and I’m sitting here making him nervous with my questions. Once he handed me back a piece of paper I wrote my questions on and said that the house doctor (Is that Doctor House? – Woo Hoo, now we’ll get some answers) would answer all of those. Uh OH! Let me repeat myself, WTF. Okay Doogie, then here is something you can do for me. “Go fetch me the genuine article because I need someone old enough to have the keys to the cookie jar if you’re not allowed to answer the questions yet.” Do you think I got the deer in the headlights look then? Can you just see him slinking away? Tough – suck it up. If you can’t play by my rules then get out of my sandbox with your scalpel. I only do cute on Tuesdays – Saturday’s are tough.

Let’s see, I think I’m losing my sense of humor, nope, still in tact. It’s a tad on the sardonic side but alive and ticking. I've been wondering if I am channeling George Carlin. Maybe I can create a line of hospital beads. Hmmmmmm, lets make some preliminary sketches. Perhaps I’ll show you those sometime.

At about hour six things really got interesting. I started to wander, and it makes the clones even more nervous. I looked at the people in the other cells and nodded my head. We were all about the same age, give or take a decade. I kept imagining an uprising of the middle- aged captives.

I think I'll introduce you to my cell mates. There had beenf two across from us who used the same bed. Both of them were vomiters. One by illness and the other via an overdose of drugs – they gave him charcoal in a tube. I don’t think he had to worry about the drugs. His mother looked like I’d look in that situation. Kitty corner was interesting. The clones kept going into this one guy’s room and doing the repetitive question thing. Once, when the king of the clones was in the cell he asked the poor man when it was he drank last. The man looked up at them and seemed puzzled. He answered that he drank that morning. The clone had to rephrase the question. Point for homeless drunk guy! On the other side was a moaner, then a whiner, and there was a screamer down the hall. I think the clones had their hands full – we were definitely winning. I began to tire of the game and decided I wanted to take my sandbox shovels and go home.

I actually amuse pretty easily. I’m an only child and can play endlessly with absolutely zip. I love airports and big lobbies. They’re interesting and full of people buzzing about. We, us and our collectivve cellmates, were stagnating and starting to smell (I know the drunk did because he couldn’t make it to the bathroom and used a bed pan - Oh Lord help me). “Yo, brother from another mother, been here an hour without a visit”. Hello out there? (I heard an echo – where’d they go?). Oh for Pete’s sake. And then I saw it. They called in reinforcements and they were briefing them too. The clone shift changed and in came the new recruits. They came to the curtained cells and it started all over. “Hi, my name is Doctor First Year Student. I bet you’re ready to get discharged.” Now that was the freakin’ understatement of the year!

My friends know that at this point I would consider this cheerful new face the first victim in a competition of wits I was not about to lose. Send in all the fresh replacements you want. Think fried green tomatoes – “Face it girls. I’m older and I have more insurance!” I thrust the questions into Dr. First Year’s face. “Be glad to, but first you’re going to have to have to answer some questions.” It was high noon at the OK Corral. He began to read them. I was confused (for a millisecond!). He began to read them aloud and answer them. Cool Beans First Year. Then he made the fatal volley, “I’ll go get your discharge papers.” Nope!! Whoa, hold on there Tonto. Your Lone Ranger here needs an answer to question number one. “Stop right there!”I shrieked. “Yes, Madam, is there something else I can do?” Stupid, stupid boy! “Ah huh, you missed a question,” I raised a brow and looked over my glasses. Slowly he turned around, cleared his throat, and read it aloud. Deer in the headlights – prey for the middle aged – boy toy doctor. “Yes, that’s it – go ahead – answer that one.”

“I can’t”, he said. I knew that (I thought quietly). You see, at that point I just wanted to make him say it out loud. Admit that he, his colleagues, and minions could not figure out why my DH’s ankle and leg were swollen. It’s like a game of chess. You strategize, play the game, and go in for the kill – CHECKMATE!

It wasn’t a wasted day. I already knew the answer to the question. Exhausting, but not wasted. What I do know for sure is that whatever caused his tootsies to swell was NOT life threatening. We had the test results to prove it. All things considered, on our 12 week roller coaster ride, this was not the worst day. No new blood clot, no infection. “See your family doctor and don’t forget your follow up with your Neurosurgeon.” I let him have that one.

Eight Hours – Fifteen Minutes.

Long Time No Post

Just to past on a goodie, a super beadmaker and all around neat person has been featured on another great artists blog and I think maybe you ought to go and have a lookie loo at them both. It's Bella Bead's blog that you'll be going to, and Mallory Hoffman is the featured artist.

Here's the link: Bella Bead Jewelry by Linda

Santa is Coming!

I've been showing everyone what my customers are doing with the fun beads I make and today's entry is no exception. In fact, it's more like exceptional, but then I think all of my designers are! I love what Jodi did with the Santa Hat. How absolutely wonderful is this necklace? Not just because she used my hat but because it's such a cleaver use for it. I'd of never thought of that.

All of this artistic prowress is from Jodi Masington. She is Loopie Beads from Houston, Texas. She was hit by that recent hurricane in Texas and I just can't imagine how hard that must be to go through. I guess I shouldn't complain about the snow and slush here in Michigan. We are definitely living in Winter Wonderland. Ho Ho Ho!

By the way...have you been naughty or nice?????

Talented Friends

Hey, how do you like the Ravens? I think they look wonderful on these earrings made by one of my customers. She certainly does a bead justice!


I am so honored to have some of the best customers in the world. Let me introduce you to one of them…Glamorosi. I have asked her in the past to send me links and photos of things she has created with my beads and she honored me once with a link. I did write something for the blog and then lost it when I was posting. A computer misfortune – remember me? – techno geek? This time I’ve managed to keep it all straight so I could show you her great blog and Etsy site.

She’s fun, she’s talented, and I think you’ll enjoy the links. Glam up!

Add a Gadget

You learn something new everyday......or what not to do. Today I clicked on a little something that explained where I can get some visual goodies to add to the blog. I thought everyone might enjoy looking at it (or acquiring some) so here is the link to the U-Tube explanation: Gadgets

Heavenly Child One

I'm about to receive a gift. All you beadmakers out there can just...

BACK AWAY FROM THE TOOL!

It's mine. It's a dream come true. An arbor press that had been retooled by the child genius to line my beads with tubes of silver. Oh, this is better than _ _ X. And you tool junkies know it, BAWAHAHAHAHA (wicked wicked laughter).

Well I admit, I haven't always referred to him that way. Let's see....when he was in grade school we had to visit the several teachers, several times. He bored easily. If we had been rich they'd of called him precocious, we weren't. In high school I thought we'd be visiting him in jail, or me in nearest sanitarium. College was PARRR-TEEEEE! He had these skills and smarts but at the time was steadfastly refusing to apply them to anything but "getting by".

Then along came Mary, (like the song - but her name is actually Emma) and his under stimulated brain came into focus. First, (following a college switch) he became a police officer, after obtaining that degree. A far cry from my panicked assessment of his high school potential. He was good at it! And, he took flying lessons, earned a pilots license, and purchased an airplane. He flew often and took his father and sister up one day together. I bet you hear my heart pounding as I watched from the ground, smiled, and nearly puked at the thought of things beyond my control which could hurt the three of them in one foul swoop. I was forever grateful when it landed and knew his brother wouldn't end up an only child.

Life was good, he married Emma. Slowly he bloomed and I got a beautiful, precious, and precocious granddaughter (he has been to her grade school) and he returned to college. Look out world. He graduated with very high honors and a lofty goal - law school. Focused ? More like "in the zone!" Published in the Law Review, clerked for a Federal Judge, and worked at a very good Detroit Law firm specializing in employment law. Left that firm this year to begin his own. Slowly, but surely, it grows too. To occupy that mind over the past several years he turned to restoring motorcycles - he's good at that too! Restored a 1979 Harley and it looks great and runs great. Another sits and is waiting in the wings. He was always mechanical and loves the hunt for the parts to add to his restorations.

Now with a Mom like me, who could by all definition be also called precocious, I like having one son for lawyer and another for a social worker. One can bail me out (figuratively/ not literally, yet) and the other counsel me for my lack of remorse about my behavior. And to boot I have this great daughter, a beautiful geek who can fix my computer when she has a mind to (that precocious gene runs amok in this family). Everyone got it but the social worker - a genetic gift to give me relief from the occasional intensity of the other two. I know I'm a lucky ducky. I didn't always hit a home run as a parent but it wasn't for a lack of good intention, if not skill.

And now I have a bead press...eat your heart out Jim Moore. Precocious is a good thing!

Friends and Artists

Hi everyone! Just a shortie note from me here. DH had some extensive back surgery so I have been out of touch but I wanted to drop this wonderful pearl in your lap. I'm introducing you to a great bead artist and designer named Janel Gradowski. She has written some great pieces (how to) for several of our favorite bead mags. I think you'll like her - and her blog. So step right in and introduce yourselves. Here you go ----- It's Janels Jumbles.

Viking Knit Endings

Every now and then someone contacts me concerning how I end my Viking Knit pieces. I try to remember to send them this photo but sometimes I forget. So for anyone wondering how to do that I'm posting it here.

I have done it several different ways. One way is that I make my own end caps out of silver tubing that fits. I measure the end of the knit with a set of calipers (we all know how I love those) and then order tubing with an inside diameter that will fit the bracelet. I then cut off lengths for the ends/ solder them to plate and hand finish them.

Sometimes you just have to do things the hard way!

More often than not though I order end caps. The caps shown in the photo are from Heather Ferman. She has these in many different types of metal and they are a fantastic fit for the ends of the knit.

You take and run a wire through some of the loops and secure it tightly. It doesn't have to be perfect or really pretty (you're going to cover it). I generally use 22 gauge half hard wire for this. Once it's secured I pull the cap over it and make my ending loop. To this I add jump rings and a clasp and it's all done. Happy Knitting.

A Funny!

This came today from my friend Lillian Rogers. I thought I'd pass it on. This way so all of you could have a laugh too. Our friend "L" has what we refer to as 'Lillianisms.' These are handy things we remember that bring us untold joy when we are traveling with husbands in the car. Like "Never feed the driver, or the car will never stop." She tells us of a tale where her and her beloved "W-A" (can you tell she's a Texan?) were on a trip and she had packed some food in a cooler in the backseat. She needed to use the bathroom and W-A kept putting off stopping. Finally he asked for a snack - she feigned being unable to reach the cooler and they finally left the road. And so she developed a Lillianism..........now be sure you say it with a great Texan accent and it will bring a smile to your face every time you're in the car. Oh, and don't pack many snacks either! So here is the 'funny' she sent............

The last line is priceless.......

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, violent river.

Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed: 'God, please give me the strength to cross the river.

'Poof! ... God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed: 'God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river

'Poof! ... God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: 'God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river

'Poof! ... He was turned in to a woman. She checked the map,Hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

GO AHEAD, SEND THIS TO A WOMAN WHO NEEDS A GOOD LAUGH AND TO ANY MAN WHO CAN HANDLE IT!

'If at first you don't succeed, do it the way your wife told you!'